Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 25 Roquan Smith Jersey , 2003
My wife and I married eight years ago. One month into our marriage she was diagnosed with a non-life threatening form of muscular dystrophy. Over the years she has grown more and more dependent on me.
She no longer has the strength to carry a child, and it has become apparent we will never have children of our own. She still works full-time. I must take care of all the household functions like cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping. Over time I've come to look on her less as my wife and more as my responsibility.
I don't love her anymore the way a husband loves a wife. Last January I asked her for a divorce, but I continue to live in the same house because she has no one else to help her in and out of bed, and no one else to take care of her.
I agreed to see a counselor and discuss my feelings. After meeting with us individually the counselor said we have two different objectives. I want a divorce, and she wants to find ways to "fix" our marriage. We stopped seeing the counselor after that because I felt pushed toward her objective.
I don't know where to go from here. She tells my family and friends I am going through a mid-life crisis Khalil Mack Jersey , but I'm only 31. The simple truth is I want children. She claims she can still do this though her disease makes it next to impossible. I also want a partner not a dependent.
How can I help her understand this? I try talking to her, but it always degenerates into an argument with her crying and telling me how much she loves me. I've avoided moving out because I feel guilty for leaving her with no one to help her. I need to know how to end this so I can get on with my life.
Reed
Reed, one of Shakespeare's most famous lines is "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds."
There are people who love one another so much that no matter what life throws at them, leaving the other would never cross their mind. Another man in your position might count himself lucky his wife did not have a form of the disease which would end her life.
That is not what you are saying. You are saying you want a new life and a new wife. You want out because she has muscular dystrophy, and that is all there is to it. She is the same person she always was, but now you feel she is a serious inconvenience.
We can hear readers wanting us to shame you and ask how you would like it if the tables were turned. Then, they would say Akiem Hicks Jersey , you would understand how she feels and what you are doing to her.
But that is not enough to make you stay. Guilt will not keep two people together. It's not strong enough. For someone to withstand what is difficult, there has to be something there that allows them to withstand it.
Your wife faces a harsh reality. There will be people in her life who accept her for who she is and what she can do, and those who see a disability and what she can't do. But she must face that reality.
On a daily basis you show your wife you don't love her and want a different woman. How healthy can that be for her?
The main question to answer before you divorce is who will be there to give her the care and support she needs after you have gone.
Before you marry again, you need to ask yourself another question. If the worst thing happened to this woman, would I remain by her side? That is the love Shakespeare wrote about, the love which does not alter when it alteration finds.
Wayne & Tamara
In the Ontario Fisherman, the editor and field staff have constantly promoted what we feel to be worthwhile ideals for Ontario's two-million-plus anglers i.e. commitments to catch-and-release sportfishing Walter Payton Jersey , support for fish-rearing and hatchery projects, opposition to gill netting and incidental catches, and the belief that fishing should be a shared, family experience. In my own fishing, I have tried to put into practice a "Take a Kid Fishing" attitude.
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Mostly, though, we found enjoyment in the relaxation and camaraderie of fishing together. Great, old photos- now treasured memories- attest to our total preoccupation with fishing during the summer break. Some even offer proof of many, successful outings. With Dad in the boat, we were assured of success- he instilled a positive Wholesale Bears Shirts , confident feeling at each outing. Take a kid fishing? He knew when and, I suspect, why.
When the family cottage was sold and a new, lakeside home was bought, it seemed only natural that priority be given to checking out the fishing and locating new hotspots. Didn't take him long either. By this time, sons were grown, but grandsons came along to share Dad's love of the lake- and fishing. Three generations in a car-topper really b. Wholesale Authentic Air JordanWholesale Air Max China